


did you think you'd get a prince?

by hellodeer



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Future Fic, Gen, M/M, Matchmaking, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-30
Updated: 2017-07-30
Packaged: 2018-12-09 02:34:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11659827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hellodeer/pseuds/hellodeer
Summary: Tsukishima Kei, unwilling matchmaker.





	did you think you'd get a prince?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [horchata](https://archiveofourown.org/users/horchata/gifts).



> so robin reblogged [this](http://hinatas-smile.tumblr.com/post/162991691220/theyre-all-tanaka) and i thought, well.

Yamaguchi’s face is very red, the blush high on his cheeks. It makes all of his freckles stand out. They’re on the school rooftop during lunchtime; a gentle breeze ruffles their hairs, and it’s all so cliche Kei wants to puke.

“Tsukki, I…” Yamaguchi is saying, fingers fumbling with the hem of his shirt. “Tsukki, I like…” he mumbles something.

“What,” Kei deadpans.

“I like…”

“I can’t understand you.”

Yamaguchi mumbles whatever it is again, looking at somewhere close to Kei’s shoes.

“Out with it, Yamaguchi, honestly,” Kei snaps, hungry and fed up.

“Tanaka-san!” Yamaguchi all but shouts. “I like Tanaka-san!”

Kei rolls his eyes.

“Yeah,” he says. “And?”

Yamaguchi blinks. “And, ugh,” he says slowly. “I like him?”

“So you’ve said,” Kei sighs.

“You don’t mind that I like a guy?” Yamaguchi asks, tilting his head in confusion and barely contained hope. Kei can see him vibrating with nerves.

“Why the hell would I mind?” Kei frowns. “It doesn’t affect me in any way, so I could care less.”

“Oh,” Yamaguchi says. He bites his lips.

Kei steels himself for what he’s about to say, already feeling the drain of too many emotions in too many words.

“Look,” he starts. “I don’t care if you like guys or girls or both or none. You’re still my best friend,” and, looking into Yamaguchi’s tear-filled eyes, adds “Tadashi.”

Yamaguchi’s smile almost splits his face in two. He says “Thanks, Tsukki!” with such happiness and relief that it’s worth the effort.

*

It’s not worth the effort.

Yamaguchi had always introduced Tanaka-san in conversations, discreetly commenting on a cool spike he had made in practice or how he had, once, forgotten his gym shoes at home, all in between talking about a math problem he didn’t get or last night’s episode of Naruto. Now, though, it’s Tanaka-san this, Tanaka-san that, Tanaka-san is _so_ cool, have you seen his _arms_ , Tsukki, I like him so much; a never-ending, never-stopping blah blah blah.

“Don’t you have somewhere else to be?” Kei asks, the desperation in his voice badly disguised, after Yamaguchi has spent the last twenty minutes going on and on about the shape of Tanaka-san’s _eyebrows_. Kei knows for a fact that Yamaguchi has P.E next, because it’s Tuesday, so he really should be leaving already. “Something else to do?”

Yamaguchi blinks. He looks around Kei’s classroom, where he comes to have lunch every day. Yachi-san is sitting in a corner, talking to a couple of other girls. She smiles and waves at them.

“Not really,” Yamaguchi shrugs. He takes a bite of rice from his bento and starts again, this time on Tanaka-san’s apparently short eyelashes.

Kei groans.

 

*

Practice is no less torture. Yamaguchi, as usual, doesn’t have a single subtle bone in his body. It’s obvious for the whole world to see: he blushes and stutters if Tanaka-san so much as looks at him. His entire face lights up when Tanaka-san smiles his way. He couldn’t hit a decent serve for a week when Tanaka-san got a girlfriend in the summer.

Tanaka-san is not much better.

“That was a nice block, Yamaguchi,” he says, clapping a hand on Yamaguchi’s shoulder and _squeezing_. It’s the fourth time he compliments Yamaguchi in the last half hour.

“Ugh!” goes Yamaguchi, face coloring red around a wobbly smile. Tanaka-san grins, too, and then they just _stare_ at each other.

Kei looks around. Everyone else is focused on practice, and Hinata is being obnoxious, as always, laughing way too loud with the first-years. Only Ennoshita-san catches his eyes, an eyebrow raised.

Kei sighs and shakes his head. Ennoshita-san approaches Yamaguchi and Tanaka-san, who are still lost in each other’s eyes, and clears his throat. They both jump, Tanaka-san dropping his hand from Yamaguchi’s shoulder.

“Back to practice, will you,” Ennoshita-san says, drily.

“Right, of course,” says Tanaka-san, laughing. “Captain’s orders!”

He runs to where Kageyama and Nishinoya are, asking for tosses. Yamaguchi watches him go.

Kei turns his back on Yamaguchi’s lovesick gaze.

*

When Yamaguchi says “His abs are _amazing_. I want to lick the sweat off of them, I want to lick him _all over_ , he’s so strong and hot,” covering his face with his hands instead of studying in his bedroom, Kei decides he’s had enough.

*

“Hey, Tanaka-san,” he asks at practice the next day. “Didn’t you have a girlfriend?”

Tanaka-san frowns, arms raised above his head.

“Yeah, but we broke up,” he says. He bends down and touches his fingers to the toes.

“Why?”

“What is it to you?”

“Nothing, really,” Kei shrugs, the movement weird when he has his torso twisted diagonally, touching the soles of his shoes, legs spread on the floor. 

“Well,” Tanaka-san says. He’s sitting down now, too. Kei sees his eyes flicker briefly to Yamaguchi, who holds his foot behind his back on the other side of the gym. “I figured out I had feelings for… someone else.”

“Hm,” Kei answers.

“What are you up to?” Tanaka-san asks.

“Who, me?” Kei’s face is perfectly blank. His eyes give away nothing. “Nothing at all.”

*

Kei knocks on Akiteru’s door very quietly, hoping he doesn’t hear it. He does, of course, and cheerfully shouts “Come in!”, so Kei has no choice but to go in.

“Hey,” he says, carefully stepping into Akiteru’s room and closing the door behind him. He leans against it, wanting to be as close to the exit as he can.

Akiteru swirls around in his chair, face breaking into a grin. “Kei!”

“Yeah, so,” Kei says, every muscle in his body tensing up for what’s to come. “If you wanted to take someone on a date, where would you go?”

Akiteru pauses, staring at him with his mouth open in a perfect ‘o’ shape. 

“Oh,” he says. Then: “Ohhhh!” and he shots up from his chair, approaches Kei in three quick strides and grips his shoulders, eyes bright and a huge smile on his face.

“Ugh,” goes Kei.

“Is it a girl? Are you finally interested in a girl?”

“No.”

Akiteru shakes him lightly.

“Come one, what kind of girl is she? Is she cute?”

“Just answer the damn question,” Kei snaps, elbowing Akiteru on the ribs.

Akiteru whines in pain, taking a few steps back and putting a hand to his hurt side.

“Well, it depends on what type of girl she is and the impression you’re trying to make,” Kei glares at him, so he rushes to add: “But I guess the usual is a movie? Maybe some ice cream?”

“Hm,” Kei says. A movie. Ice cream. He can work with that. “Alright.”

He nods at Akiteru. Akiteru nods back. Kei turns to leave, but just before he opens the door, he mutters “Thanks.”

 

*

“Tanaka-san,” Kei says, when it’s just the two of them in the equipment room after practice on Friday. “I need your help with something. Can you meet me Sunday at two in the shopping center?”

Tanaka-san stops in the middle of picking up two brooms and narrows his eyes. “What is it?”

“Nothing important,” Kei shrugs. “I need new shoes. And I know you’re amazing at picking them out, so I really need your help,” and, going in for the kill: “senpai.”

Tanaka-san’s frown melts away. He grins and punches his own chest.

“Alright! Leave it to senpai!”

It’s so easy. Kei rolls his eyes when Tanaka-san turns his back.

*

“Yamaguchi, I need you to meet me tomorrow at two in the shopping center,” Kei says.

“Okay,” Yamaguchi replies.

*

At exactly two on Sunday, he gets a text from Yamaguchi which is just a string of exclamation points. It’s quickly followed by _WHAT DO I DO TSUKKI_

_I don’t know. Tell him I’m sick and go see a movie or whatever. I don’t care._

Another series of exclamation points. Then: _okay. thank you!!!_

Kei goes back to his homework. Outside, rain starts to fall.

*

“He paid for my ticket,” Yamaguchi says during lunch break the next day. He’s hiding his blushing face behind his hands, not that Kei cares to see it. “And then we exchanged numbers.”

“You’ve always had his number,” Kei frowns into his bread. “We have a group chat on LINE for the volleyball team.”

Kei has it muted, but still. He knows Yamaguchi hasn’t.

“Yeah, but Tsukki,” Yamaguchi drops his hands, looking Kei right in the eyes. “We _exchanged numbers_.”

“Whatever,” Kei rolls his eyes.

Then they hear it, a loud and strong voice calling “Yo, Yamaguchi!”

There’s a lot of whispering as Yamaguchi gets up, face red, and goes to the door of Kei’s classroom.

“What is a third year doing here?” Kei hears someone ask.

“And why does he want to talk to Yamaguchi?” another person wonders. “This isn’t even his class!”

“It’s okay,” Yachi-san hurries to explain. “He’s the vice-captain of the volleyball club, it’s okay.”

“Hi, Tanaka-san,” Yamaguchi says, his smile small and shy.

“Hi,” answers Tanaka-san. He’s blushing, too. “I came to return this. Thanks for lending it to me.”

He hands Yamaguchi an umbrella. 

The next part of their conversation is too low for Kei to hear, but Yamaguchi laughs at some point, giddy and so openly in _love_ Kei feels like an intruder to something very private. He averts his eyes and puts his headphones on.

*

At practice, Tanaka-san corners him just as everyone is moving to the club room to change.

“Hey, Tsukishima. You feeling better?”

The tallest first year walks past him and pushes against Kei’s shoulder. Kei has no idea why this boy is trying to pick a fight, and he doesn’t really care. Kageyama scowls at him from across the gym. Kei scowls right back.

“What?”

“Yamaguchi said you were feeling sick yesterday, that’s why you didn’t show up,” there’s actual concern in Tanaka-san’s eyes, which is nice. Surprising. “He said you ate some bad fish and had diarrhea.”

“Yes,” Kei deadpans. He glares at Yamaguchi over Tanaka-san’s shoulder, and Yamaguchi bows his head in apology, hands together in front of his face. “That’s what happened. But I’m feeling better now.”

“Glad to hear it, man,” Tanaka-san grins. “And if you still need those shoes, I can help you whenever.”

“Sure,” he shrugs. They’re outside the gym now, climbing up the stairs to the clubroom. “But hey, you know that new ice cream shop that’s opened next door to Ukai-san’s shop?”

“Yeah?”

“Yamaguchi told me he really wants to go try their mango flavor.”

Yamaguchi had, of course, said no such thing. It’s nearing October now, the air turning chilly and dry; soon everyone will start wearing gloves.

Still Tanaka-san grins lopsidedly, scratching his blushing nose.

“Hm,” he says. “Cool.”

“Yeah,” Kei answers. “Cool.”

*

“Tsukki,” Yamaguchi whispers to him urgently, the minute he sets foot on school on Tuesday. “Look at this, Tsukki!”

He waves his phone wildly in front of Kei. Annoyed, Kei grabs it out of Yamaguchi’s hand and stares at the screen.

It’s open to a LINE chat with Tanaka-san. The last message, sent at 6:50AM, reads _yeah haha so do u wanna go get some ice cream at the new shop?_

_Yes_ , Kei answers.

“There,” he says, handing the phone back to Yamaguchi. “Done.”

*

So the next day Yamaguchi is telling him all about his date with Tanaka-san, gushing about how funny and kind Tanaka-san, and, really.

“Just make a move already,” Kei snaps. Yamaguchi pauses with his rice halfway to his mouth. “It’s clear you both like each other, so just confess already and stop bothering me.”

Yamaguchi fumbles with his chopsticks and they fall on his bento. He looks down at the table between them.

“What if he doesn’t, though?” he asks quietly. “What if he doesn’t like me?”

“Then he’s very good at faking it,” Kei says. Yamaguchi flinches. “Honestly, I didn’t think you were that much of a coward, Yamaguchi.”

Kei means it like a compliment, almost. He means it like _I know you can be brave_ , like _I’ve seen you do it multiple times_ , but that’s not what Yamaguchi hears, because his eyes fill with tears and he gets up, hurriedly packing his bento and leaving.

They don’t talk at practice, but when he gets home Kei finds an article on Seventeen called 5 Sure Signs A Guy Likes You and sends it to Yamaguchi.

 

*

On Thursday, Kei is early to morning practice simply because he couldn’t stand Akiteru fussing over him as prefecture playoffs draw close. He opens the door to the club room and finds Yamaguchi and Tanaka-san kissing, their eyes closed, lost to in their own world.

He closes the door. Climbs down the stairs. Sighs very deeply, and sits down on the bottom step to stand guard.

**Author's Note:**

> title from fiddler on the roof's matchmaker


End file.
